Writing an email to a friend of mine today brought up a subject that I've been thinking about for some time... since I started this minor chronicle, anyway. I know that this year will bring many experiences, possibly terrible, possibly uplifting, possibly heartrending. It is going to be hard emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I know that I will be forever changed.
As I told my friend, I am working to embrace the change... to accept that a year from now I will read my earliest posts and think myself an idiot for my idealism and high-minded drivel. I may become cynical. I pray not to lose what I am. My hope is that by dropping these bread crumbs, perhaps I will be able to find myself if I am lost in that place. I want to look back and see the progression, the change, so that I can both enjoy the journey and not be able to deny the thoughts and feelings and priorities that I see have now. I want to see how things work out.
I want to see how I work out.